i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
