you guys were way drunker than both of me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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