there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
