Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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