when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
