So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
