bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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