This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
