I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
