we have officially lost it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
