$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
