take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
