Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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