Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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