guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
