i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
