Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
