I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
