So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
