apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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