Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
