So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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