I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
