I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
