my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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