did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
