Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
