Actions speak louder than pants.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
