Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
