Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
