just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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