I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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