im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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