New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We are two peas in an std pod
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Panties = found
Randomize
