"it" just moved
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
People in love make me want to vomit
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
