TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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