The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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