I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
