i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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