Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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