We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
