i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
