Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
