At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I will die if light touches me.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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