Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
