Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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