What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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