I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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