He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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