Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
