my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
