did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
